It’s nice to have days where we go back to being who we used to be, even if it’s just for a little while.
For me, that becomes being more innocent. Ignorance is truly bliss. Thinking back to my freshman year, I never used a single swear word and was an eloquent, soft-spoken, straight-A girl.
That didn’t really change until junior year. Last year is when “these changes” occurred. Then this summer too. I became incredibly social this summer, and that’s continued up to this point.
They said that everything happens junior year. Not strictly grades and standardized testing. The partying, drugs, and drinking.
I never had any idea.
Once I became more social (senior year), I discovered all these vices and was entirely okay with it. I’ve seen my friends drink on several occasions, seen drugs up close and know too many things about my guy friends.
After all, that’s what happens when your “main circle” of friends consist mainly of guys.
So the days where my friends remember how innocent I still am and take that for what it’s worth, I feel incredibly content.
And even though I’m done with the situation, it was so sweet of him to open up my car door today. It was precious. And the hug. I don’t know. Today was not horrible…but I was in one of my moods and was uncomfortably depressed today. I tried to ignore everyone using visualization. My friends have learned how to handle this. I don’t know when I came back down from my streak of happy. I was content, and I was doing so well. I almost find comfort from how sad I am because it’s all too familiar.
Wait, what am I saying?
do you ever just like a guy all of a sudden so much that whenever you’re not doing anything you just automatically think of him and you end up feeling so frustrated because you know he probably will never feel the same way about you so you just want to stab him repeatedly in the face till he dies..
that’s how i feel right now.